Hot Sauce

Shyster Sauce? will make you wish you had acquired it * ex-post facto. Judicial Flavors, in it's most usual * modus operandi, has blended it's finest barbeque with the temerity of the finest habanero peppers. This blend has been refined to avoid any charges of arson or flash burns. However, this sauce may leave the user in a state of *non-compos mentis, that being, not of sound mind because of it's addictive nature.

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Cost: $6.95

Juvenile Justice

Taco Sauce

Where's the justice? The Chief Shyster's children have demanded that a sauce be put forth for those of minor years. A sauce that by clear and convincing evidence will provide justice for all ages.

Minor-qualification is not strictly construed by age.

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Cost: $6.95

So Sue Me

Hot Sauce

So Sue Me? echoes through the litigious landscape of America. The Chief Shyster has created a flavor to treat this condition. This sauce expresses the inferno that rages within courtrooms and boardrooms. However, this sauce will direct one's litigious conditions towards an edible debate rather than a litigious one.

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Cost: $7.95

Bailiff Brutality

Salsa

All rise was the order. Bring the salsa was the demand. With this challenge the Chief Shyster has created for those whom there is no fear of the click of cuffs, the blow of a baton, the eye watering of pepper spray or the jolt of an electrical correctional belt. This salsa provides that brief moment of flavor savoring freedom only to have that moment replaced by the confinement of ones sense to it's soaring heat. Prepare to go into custody forthwith!

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Cost: $7.95

Alimony Antidote

Marinade

So, the ex's talking head got all of your assets. The Chief Shyster feels your pain and says "so what if the ex took the refrigerator and left you with the box to live in". You still can enjoy this marinade on whatever you can snare and roast over your Sterno fire. This marinade will serve as an antidote to any alimony hemorrhage from which the user may be suffering.

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Cost: $6.95

Juvenile Delinquent

Orange Hot Sauce

There's a Juvenile Delinquent lurking in all of us. So with a blend of five delinquent peppers and the golden glow of a secret organic matter, this sauce brings out the little hellion in all of us. Mother always said, "eat your carrots!"

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Cost: $6.95

Contempt of Court

Pepper Sauce

Contempt never tasted so good. While the actions of your lawyer may leave you in contempt and the ruling of the judge may create slanderous thoughts, the judicial melding of all natural fire products makes this sauce far from contemptuous. Apply liberally to all proceedings.

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Cost: $6.95

Under the Influence

Tomatillo Sauce

You won't mind failing a field sobriety test for this sauce. The only eye to hand coordination that you need is getting this sauce from the bottle to your mouth. Judicial Flavors? Has taken the intoxicating delights of tomatillos and chilies to create this dangerously close to illegal sauce. So, don't eat and drive.

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Cost: $6.95

Lawyer's Breath

Hot Sauce

Judicial Flavors? has seized the flagrant nature of garlic and fine chilies to bring out the orator in you. Fortunately, your breath will not reek of broken promises and hidden clauses. Lawyer's Breath? may make you change your will and your pre-nuptial agreement but not your love for this sauce.

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Cost: $6.95

	Pat Down		Is your meat filled with contraband easonings? Well, give it up! Pick it up, slap it around and pat it down with the Chief Shyster's hot and spicy rub!
	Buy Qty.	Cost: $6.95

	Shake Down Legal Dust ?		Are your taste buds in an incarcerated state? Then disrupt that old kitchen blandness with the Chief Shyster's blend of zest and heat. Then let the shake down begin!!!
	Buy Qty.	Cost: $6.95

	Legal Rush?		Trouble getting your motor running in the A.M.? Don't violate the Health and Safety Code. Instead, have a cup of the Shyster's Rush. With fine legal beans from Tanzania and Mexican organic, roasted by the Shyster's friends at Depoe Bay, you will make it through the morning rush legally!
	Buy Qty.	Cost: $9.95

	Hot Lawyer's Nuts		Ever want to say "NUTZ" to the system? The Shyster hears your cry and has dusted some fine nuts with special spices and herbs. So next time you're heading into court, give some of these spicy little nuts to your mouthpiece and hear them roar on your behalf!
	Buy Qty.	Cost: $6.95

Justice Is Served

Cookbook

While the publishing of this odd and varied assortment of legally infused recipes calls for Judicial Flavors products the following will give the user some optional although inferior replacements

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Cost: $19.95